Let’s face it. If you’re driving a piece of crap 3 Series BMW, that’s because you can’t afford the 5 Series BMW that you really wanted. That’s what the 3 Series is for. It’s for wanna-be ballers. Nobody really wants a 3 Series. It’s for broke asses that want to act rich, but their jobs in the mailroom just don’t afford them a 5 Series BMW, and there’s no way to fake it. So they just settle for the 3 Series.

Well, guess what. You 3 Series BMW owners have just moved up a notch on the rung. You’re are no longer the wanna-be poseurs. BMW has just re-released that mega shitbomb from 2002, the 1 Series BMW. So now the garbage man who dreams of being a ‘rich’ mailroom worker like you can now afford a new BMW too.

It’s pretty sad that BMW has whored itself out to this low of a level. Now when I’m watching Dirty Jobs With Mike Rowe, all the guys who’s job is to sweep pig slop and garbage into the pig trough will be rolling up to work in new BMW 1 Series.

That’s baller.

- Weath Store